Happy 4th
you glorious savage.
I realize that this email means very little to those outside of the United States... except if you live in England... in which case, this holiday is all your fault.
If you had only given us some seats in Parliament, you could have continued to tax us until the end of time.
Instead we have this glorious holiday, and fireworks companies have been afforded the ability to make the entirety of their annual income in several days time.
Perhaps the Royal Marines of 1776 also spent a confusing amount of time working on their dropkicks... thus tipping the scales of war into our favor.
Nevertheless, I will think of you fondly as I strafe my small children with roman candles
All nonsense aside, I have nothing to offer you today but my thanks.
I appreciate you being a part of the shenanigans, for taking the time to read these ridiculous emails, and occasionally learning a thing or two about the realm of combat sports.
Thank you for being a part of the family.
Enjoy the weekend, and try not to blow off any fingers!