Horrible opponents and excellent camera-men...

Today's email will end with one of the sloppiest and yet most entertaining fights I've ever watched filmed on a cell phone... despite the "vertical video".

For the love of God people, turn your phones sideways.

Today's video will show you several things, including the importance of having a great cameraman-fight-announcer to pair with your violent acts.

Feel free to click here and watch the video (which has some NSFW language), while skipping my profound commentary...

There are a couple take-aways from this video:

Firstly, 100% of the guys fighting were absolutely terrible at fighting. According to my research, 95% of the human population is equally horrible... so try not to let 'tough attitudes' dictate the assessment of your opponent.

Fun things to keep an eye out for in an actually-tough opponent:

1. Cauliflower ear - If a guy has cauliflower ear, he either wrestled enough, did Jiu Jitsu enough, or got punched enough to create a gross ear. Probably a sign of a relatively tough guy.

2. Arm veins - If a person has vascularity in his or her arms, they have clearly developed the ability to deliver blood to this system, which implies athletic training of some kind... even if it's just consistent manual labor. The guy might be terrible at fighting, but he'll probably be strong. If he doesn't smoke, he'll probably have decent cardio.

3. The ol' quadricep to waist ratio - Fighting is about movement... getting in and out determines your ability to hit people, and not be hit. Otherwise you're both just failing and it's a 50/50 chance of failure.

If the guy's quads and calves are small or 'untrained looking', but he has a big old stomach, he's probably horrible, due to 'lack of mobility'.

And don't let my chicken legs fool you... I still proclaim myself to be a savage.

Again... it's all about the cardio:

Nothing is more ridiculous than two guys punching each other in the face sloppily, 300 times, and still standing there... exhausted and confused... not knowing when it's ok to stop fighting.

The ability to continue fighting, is frequently the only thing that determines who wins or loses.

So, again I ask you... how's your cardio?

Without the cameraman spouting inspirational NSFW messages, the fight in today's video would have ended 6 different times.


Here's the comment section...

Humans like to talk about things.

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