Spitting in faces. 

What could go wrong?

Most people don't really want to fight.  They just want to say the scariest thing that they can possibly say, in an attempt to make you back down, which will reenforce their self-proclaimed toughness.

HOLD ME BACK!!!  Look how scary I am!  Therefore... I must be tough.  

Well, in the words of Tuco Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez (Aka Tuco from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly):

"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."

Spitting is just another way to be 'aggressive' without actually fighting... and it's legally considered an assault

But those who spit, usually have no intention of backing up their aggression, and often pay a gloriously terrible price.

In the midst of an altercation, our 'spitter' waits for the subway doors to close, before propelling a blob of phlegm into the face of the guy on the other side.  

Little did he know, those doors could be pried open... and his hiding place was a crappy one.

As expected, he barely puts up a fight before his inevitable loss of consciousness.

If he wanted to fight, he would have done it before the doors closed.

Have a look at this slightly less satisfying example...

Two guys attack a bouncer.  When one of them gets put to sleep, and the other takes a cross to the head... they become considerably less aggressive.

While his buddy sleeps on the sidewalk, douche #1 stops punching, and starts spitting.

If he still wanted to fight, he'd be fighting... not spitting.

It's cowardly behavior, and you can call it out as such... but you can NOT legally hit the guy in response. 

Beating the crap out of a guy who spits on you, is not considered "Self defense."

It is considered to be a secondary assault, and you will both be arrested for the same crime.  

However, depending on where you live, many prosecutors will refuse to charge the retaliating party. 

Again, it just depends on the prosecutor; if he's had a blob of spit planted in his face before... he'll probably be less likely to charge you.  

The truth is: you never know... but it will most certainly suck for everyone involved. 

Hey... keep your saliva to yourself, unless you're ready to throw them hands!

Have a germ-free fantastic weekend!


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Humans like to talk about things.

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