Your identity might be lost.
And losing it is usually a painful process..
The person you are now probably won't be the person you are when you die... unless you die really soon. In which case, I'm sorry. This email doesn't make me responsible.
I recently found this clip of Mike Tyson shedding some tears, thinking about his past.
You might assume that he's lamenting the loss of the awesome beast he once was: the money, the notoriety, and the sheer spectacular greatness.
"Hey. You remember that time I knocked out everyone?"
Yea. That was awesome.
On the contrary, his greatness was a demon. It came with expectations placed upon him. It cost his humility.
The money was toxic.
Yes... Tyson was the Tiger King before "Tiger King" was cool..
Now I'm no Tyson, but I am proud be a fighter. I've spent thousands of hours punching inanimate objects and I even fought in a few cages. People tried to punch me on the street once!
But they did not.
...and Fight Smart was born!
Somewhere in the midst of suffering through countless years of training, I lost a chunk of my meniscus (which is the wonderful squishy in your knee that cushions your cartilage).
With that pad missing, one's cartilage slowly grinds away. It cracks and slowly fragments into nonexistence leaving nothing but excruciating arthritis pain...
Bones aren't supposed to rub together. That's in the Bible somewhere in the passage that people quote when fighting for traditional marriage.
Leviticus was not entirely wrong.
As time grinds by, movement becomes a chore. To make quick cuts or drive in any direction causes a lightning bolt of pain. '
Training slows.
Fatness ensues.
One day you may look around and you realize that you aren't who you used to be. The kudos that you've earned are dwarfed by the Kudos™ that you eat. All of the pride that your identity is based upon may be fleeting...
This is one of the greatest psychological challenges that you may ever face... and facing it with dignity is a lot harder than punching stuff.
In Tyson's case, he mentions that he was once a master of war, but now he's trying to master the art of humility.
He doesn't seem to lament the loss of his identity... in fact he's terrified that it might come back. He has replaced the pride that he felt from his mastery of pugilism with the pride he feels in being humble... and I believe this to be the answer.
Your abilities will fade. So be a better father. Be a better writer. Be a deeper thinker. Be a better coach.
Your identity will change over time.
When it hurts, hopefully you'll remember a thing or two from the days in when you were a fighter.
Have a fantastic weekend.
-Trav